Cheeky

In article <40C4735A.B3EA9A13.TakeThisOut@chello.se>,
Alexandre Grand-Clement <alexgc.TakeThisOut@chello.se> wrote:

 > On another note I went and saw Troy last night. Close to 3 hours of
 > sulking Brad Pitt in mini-skirt.
 > An acquired taste I assume.

There were some nice heathen babes though.
But that airhead stowaway should have been chucked overboard as soon as
Hector discovered her. ;-)<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
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dano <dano45.RemoveThis@spamcop.net> wrote:

 > In article <40C4735A.B3EA9A13.RemoveThis@chello.se>,
 > Alexandre Grand-Clement <alexgc.RemoveThis@chello.se> wrote:
 >
  > > On another note I went and saw Troy last night. Close to 3 hours of
  > > sulking Brad Pitt in mini-skirt.
  > > An acquired taste I assume.
 >
 > There were some nice heathen babes though.
 > But that airhead stowaway should have been chucked overboard as soon as
 > Hector discovered her. ;-)

Not having seen the film I have to ask - did Hector discover her in the
'oh, look what I found in this locker', or in the (pre, in this case)
biblical sense?

ck


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Charles Kooy <charles_kooy.DeleteThis@despammed.com> wrote:

 > Not having seen the film I have to ask - did Hector discover her in the
 > 'oh, look what I found in this locker', or in the (pre, in this case)
 > biblical sense?

It's Hollywood, remember? Which routinely portrays people having "sex"
while still wearing their clothes? So, Biblical it ain't going to be.
--
Harro de Jong
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In article <1gf4q42.12l4b6gpzcnmcN%charles_kooy@despammed.com>,
charles_kooy.DeleteThis@despammed.com (Charles Kooy) wrote:

 > dano <dano45.DeleteThis@spamcop.net> wrote:
 >
  > > In article <40C4735A.B3EA9A13.DeleteThis@chello.se>,
  > > Alexandre Grand-Clement <alexgc.DeleteThis@chello.se> wrote:
  > >
   > > > On another note I went and saw Troy last night. Close to 3 hours of
   > > > sulking Brad Pitt in mini-skirt.
   > > > An acquired taste I assume.
  > >
  > > There were some nice heathen babes though.
  > > But that airhead stowaway should have been chucked overboard as soon as
  > > Hector discovered her. ;-)
 >
 > Not having seen the film I have to ask - did Hector discover her in the
 > 'oh, look what I found in this locker', or in the (pre, in this case)
 > biblical sense?

Paris (simpering playboy little brother)
Heh. Heh. Heh. Hey big brother, look what I smuggled onto the boat. Heh.
I know it's gonna start a fight, but I'm really horny.

Paris leads Hector down into the hold of the ship and there with a bag
over her head is the blonde tart he shagged the night before at her
husband's party.

Hector
You dumb son of a bush! Don't you know her husband's gonna be pissed off?
We had that party last night to celebrate the end of the war, and then
you steal his wife!?! You stupid george! I should kill her - and you -
right now.

Hector (thinking out loud to himself)
No, that wouldn't do. The big lout is gonna come after us whether I kill
her or send her back. Even if I send back this stupid george of little
brother and let the cuckolded husband kill him too, the guy is gonna
come after me. And that guy's big brother wants to invade my country and
steal my land. Shit. I'm sunk either way. May as well let little brother
keep the tart. What an idiot...

Hector (to Paris this time)
You dumb asshole. I'm not going to kill you or her because we're all
going to die anyway, and I need every fighting body I can get. Which
means you. Even though you've always been a chickengeorge when it comes
to fighting.

Paris
Well, I've never been a fighter - always a lover. But I'll try to learn
how to swing a sword if the bush hits the fan when that bad man comes.
Sorry dude. I just couldn't keep my zipper up. Look at her - isn't she
tarty? I like that sooooo much.

Hector
Dumb ass. I should have killed you in your crib when I had the chance.

Paris
Nawh, I'm too cool and good looking. Think of all the shaggy fun I
wouldn't have had if you'd done that. And you got to watch some times.
Didn't you like that?

Hector
Assbushhole. I didn't care about that. I just wanted to fight and kill
people. And now I've got a wife and kid and I don't want to get killed.
(I'll only ever be the second best killer in the world behind that
demigod Achilles. Too bad about all those guys I killed. But since I
can't be the best, *and* I've become a dad who now knows what it's like
to want to be around for the best years, I've wanted to quit fighting.)
But I guess that plan went down the bushtoilet didn't it. You stupid
george. Wait till I tell dad what you did.

CONTINUED




So that's pretty much the summary of the scene How Hector Found the Tart.
It's not strictly accurate dialog-wise, but it's about as close as I
could get. And of course the movie dialog isn't strictly what Mr. Homer
had to say either, so abridging the abridger isn't quite so unethical.
(I hope.)

--
He took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots.<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
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In article <1gf4q42.12l4b6gpzcnmcN%charles_kooy@despammed.com>,
charles_kooy DeleteThis @despammed.com (Charles Kooy) wrote:

 > dano <dano45 DeleteThis @spamcop.net> wrote:
 >
  > > In article <40C4735A.B3EA9A13 DeleteThis @chello.se>,
  > > Alexandre Grand-Clement <alexgc DeleteThis @chello.se> wrote:
  > >
   > > > On another note I went and saw Troy last night. Close to 3 hours of
   > > > sulking Brad Pitt in mini-skirt.
   > > > An acquired taste I assume.
  > >
  > > There were some nice heathen babes though.
  > > But that airhead stowaway should have been chucked overboard as soon as
  > > Hector discovered her. ;-)
 >
 > Not having seen the film I have to ask - did Hector discover her in the
 > 'oh, look what I found in this locker', or in the (pre, in this case)
 > biblical sense?

(edited)

EXTERIOR (DAY): Deck of a Greek warship somewhere in the middle of the
Aegean.

PARIS (simpering playboy little brother)
Heh. Heh. Heh. Hey big brother, look what I smuggled onto the boat. Heh.
I know it's gonna start a fight, but I'm really horny.

Paris leads Hector down into the hold of the ship and there with a bag
over her head is the blonde tart he shagged the night before at her
husband's party.

HECTOR
You dumb son of a bush! Don't you know her husband's gonna be pissed off?
We had that party last night to celebrate the end of the war, and then
you steal his wife!?! You stupid george! I should kill her - and you -
right now.

HECTOR(thinking out loud to himself)
No, that wouldn't do. The big lout is gonna come after us whether I kill
her or send her back. Even if I send back this stupid george of little
brother and let the cuckolded husband kill him too, the guy is gonna
come after me. And that guy's big brother wants to invade my country and
steal my land. Shit. I'm sunk either way. May as well let little brother
keep the tart. What an idiot...

Hector (to Paris this time)
You dumb asshole. I'm not going to kill you or her because we're all
going to die anyway, and I need every fighting body I can get. Which
means you. Even though you've always been a chickengeorge when it comes
to fighting.


PARIS
Well, I've never been a fighter - always a lover. But I'll try to learn
how to swing a sword if the bush hits the fan when that bad man comes.
Sorry dude. I just couldn't keep my zipper up. Look at her - isn't she
tarty? I like that sooooo much.

HECTOR
Dumb ass. I should have killed you in your crib when I had the chance.

Paris
Nawh, I'm too cool and good looking. Think of all the shaggy fun I
wouldn't have had if you'd done that. And you got to watch some times.
Didn't you like that?

HECTOR
Assbushhole. I didn't care about that. I just wanted to fight and kill
people. And now I've got a wife and kid and I don't want to get killed.
(I'll only ever be the second best killer in the world behind that
demigod Achilles. Too bad about all those guys I killed. But since I
can't be the best, *and* I've become a dad who now knows what it's like
to want to be around for the best years, I've wanted to quit fighting.)
But I guess that plan went down the bushtoilet didn't it. You stupid
george. Wait till I tell dad what you did.

CONTINUED




So that's pretty much the summary of the scene How Hector Found the Tart.
It's not strictly accurate dialog-wise, but it's about as close as I
could get. And of course the movie dialog isn't strictly what Mr. Homer
had to say either, so abridging the abridger isn't quite so unethical.
(I hope.)

--
He took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots.<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
 >> Stay informed about: Cheeky 

In article <1gf46bl.1bojtkb1p5xokmN%hcdejong@zzzzonnet.nl.invalid>,
hcdejong.TakeThisOut@zzzzonnet.nl.invalid (Harro de Jong) wrote:

 > Charles Kooy <charles_kooy.TakeThisOut@despammed.com> wrote:
 >
  > > Not having seen the film I have to ask - did Hector discover her in the
  > > 'oh, look what I found in this locker', or in the (pre, in this case)
  > > biblical sense?
 >
 > It's Hollywood, remember? Which routinely portrays people having "sex"
 > while still wearing their clothes? So, Biblical it ain't going to be.

Well, we do get to see Paris peel the tart after they snuck upstairs
during the party. At first we think this is a first time party fling,
but then it turns out they've been bonking for quite awhile. Of course
we don't get to see that on the film. But I will concur with all the
reviews I've read - Why the bush did Petersen pick this airhead? Maybe
because he needed one good German in the movie, and it might not be
right to cast a German as a bloodthirsty warrior - better as a bimbo
tart*?

But aside from that little dalliance of tanned and oiled skin writhing
under dim but golden light we don't get to see anything any time else in
the movie.

Oh wait, we do get introduced to Achilles in his tent late one morning
while he's sleeping off the last night bookended by two slave babes and
surrounded by empty bottles. And we get to see him ravage a captive nun
later in the movie after he's destroyed her sect's temple. I think we
get to see her nekkid too.


One amateur reviewer called it "a chick flick for guys who like war
movies". My wife laughed out loud at that. She hasn't seen it yet, but
liked the description.


(*No offense intended to any erstwhile Germanic folk who might be in the
audience. Good thing the Bug is long gone.)


By the way, I found on the web a "fifteen minute version" of the movie.
I'll look it up and post it to the froup shortly.

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He took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots.<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
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In article <dano45-8847C8.06570409062004.DeleteThis@news.verizon.net>,
dano <dano45.DeleteThis@spamcop.net> wrote:

 > In article <1gf46bl.1bojtkb1p5xokmN%hcdejong@zzzzonnet.nl.invalid>,
 > hcdejong.DeleteThis@zzzzonnet.nl.invalid (Harro de Jong) wrote:
 >
  > > Charles Kooy <charles_kooy.DeleteThis@despammed.com> wrote:
  > >
   > > > Not having seen the film I have to ask - did Hector discover her in the
   > > > 'oh, look what I found in this locker', or in the (pre, in this case)
   > > > biblical sense?
  > >
  > > It's Hollywood, remember? Which routinely portrays people having "sex"
  > > while still wearing their clothes? So, Biblical it ain't going to be.
 >
 >
 > By the way, I found on the web a "fifteen minute version" of the movie.
 > I'll look it up and post it to the froup shortly.

Found it. Heh.

Read this with a box of kleenex nearby - to wipe the tears. (At least I
thought it was funny...)

Troy In Fifteen Minutes
<http://www.livejournal.com/users/cleolinda/99710.html>

--
He took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots.<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
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in article dano45-EDFA63.14550408062004.DeleteThis@lumberjack.rand.org, dano at
dano45.DeleteThis@spamcop.net wrote on 6/8/04 2:55 PM:

 > But that airhead stowaway should have been chucked overboard as soon as
 > Hector discovered her. ;-)

Didn't the Greeks have a fatal weakness for airheads though? Or am I
confusing them with Hollywood?

Michael<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
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